What’s the Problem? The Importance of Framing When Colleagues Disagree
A manager has two direct reports who are frequently in conflict. An individual contributor is pulled into co-workers’ conflicts because he listens well. Sometimes they help resolve the conflict. Sometimes not. Consider these two scenarios:
Susan called Jack and Leslie into her office to discuss the timeline for a critical project. Right away, Leslie points to performance data showing that Jack’s team is consistently late. She says “Jack, your team is consistently late on important deadlines. How are you going to deal with that?” Jack bristles and looks to Susan for help. Susan affirms Leslie’s view and the meeting goes downhill quickly. Susan sits at her desk and wonders what she could have done differently.
Pedro is an individual contributor with an easy-going demeanor. At lunch with Jim and Stephanie, Jim brings up a recent miscommunication with Stephanie and Pedro tries to help by saying, “You need to be more accurate in your communication. We’re all worried we’re missing things because you’re too busy to write detailed emails.” Stephanie gives him “the look,” glances at her watch and leaves without a word. Pedro’s lunch sits in his stomach as he regrets not being more diplomatic, but he’s not sure what he could have said that wouldn’t make Stephanie angry.
Feel familiar? Ever tried to raise a difficult issue or intervene in a conflict and watch it all unravel? You know something you said landed wrong, but you struggle with what words might have made a difference.
Despite their best intentions, Susan and Pedro missed a critical key to any successful mediation: an opportunity to frame the problem. Any good mediator knows framing the issues is essential to bring people to the table – and keep them there. In fact, when the issues are not properly framed, a promising mediation can go south fast.
How the mediator frames the issues sets up everything that comes next. If Jack feels like Susan, his boss, sees the problem the same way as Leslie – and he feels blamed by Leslie – then working on the problem is to admit that he’s wrong. The way Leslie framed the issue put all the blame on Jack. It is unlikely that Jack will agree to that and the parties get stuck arguing about what the problem is, rather than focusing on what can be fixed. In other words, how you frame the problem is directly linked to problem solving – both getting to it and then doing it well.
Want to know more? The Mediation Group offers interactive training and capacity building that addresses these essential skills. Aimed at managers and individual contributors in nonprofits, municipalities, state agencies, and other sectors, participants will leave with skills they can use right away.