Mediators Need to Talk About: TRAUMA
As a mediator for more years than I care to admit in writing, I have done my fair share of what we would call “tough cases.” By “tough” I mean the type of case that stays with me, despite my best efforts to “shake it off” and leave it behind. These tough cases (at least for me) have almost always involved individuals who have experienced some form of trauma or who were working through a traumatic life event.
Given what has been happening all around us in the past few years — between COVID, racial injustices, mass shootings, wars and let’s not forget about our current political climate, it’s probably safe to say that we’ve all been traumatized in some way. Without question, trauma of all kinds and degrees of severity is making its way into our mediation rooms. If we think about it, in such a short period of time, so many people have had to cope with serious illness, loss of loved ones, loss of relationships, loss of jobs and/or income, loss of agency — the list goes on and on.
All of this has made me want to learn as much as I can about trauma and to weave this learning into my mediation practice. I want to be clear that I do not profess to have any particular expertise in this area, but rather I want to share some of my learning to hopefully get us thinking and talking about this important topic in the context of mediation.
So, what is trauma? According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Agency (SAMHSA), trauma results from: an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically and/or emotionally harmful or threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and/or physical, social, emotional or spiritual well-being. How prevalent is trauma? The National Council for Behavioral Health estimates that 70% of adults in the U.S. have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives. That’s over 200 million people!
There are different forms of trauma. Primary trauma refers to the initial traumatic event or experience and the subsequent breakdown in the relationship between the survivor and his/her/their social environment. Secondary trauma can be incurred when an individual is exposed to people who have been traumatized themselves, hearing disturbing descriptions of a traumatic event or people inflicting cruelty on one another. Secondary trauma has been widely researched in military personnel, first responders, nurses and doctors, mental health care workers and children of traumatized parents. Vicarious trauma, sometimes referred to as “compassion fatigue,” is the latest term that describes what happens to those in “helping” or “caring” professions, for example: doctors, therapists and yes…mediators.
How can we spot the signs and symptoms of trauma in mediation? According to my research, there are a number of behaviors that a traumatized individual may display:
Blaming others
Lack of flexibility
Inability to manage emotions
Poor communications
Detachment
Apathy
As one can imagine, these behaviors may pose challenges in the mediation setting, and when unrecognized or mismanaged, can contribute to the escalation of conflict and possibly derail the entire mediation process.
SAMHSA and many other organizations such as the American Psychological Association and the Boston Health Commission have developed “Trauma Informed Practice Principles” or (TIPPS) for those working in helping professions. As I studied these principles, I noticed that I was already employing some of these practices — but there were others that I was not aware of. I have outlined a few of these TIPPS below and described how each might be utilized in the context of mediation.
Principle 1: Understanding Trauma and Its Impact
Trauma is widespread and can influence someone’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
What we can do as mediators:
Take the time to learn about trauma and how it affects individuals, families and communities — attend training if possible.
Consult with and/or co-mediate with someone who has a mental health background.
Don’t make meaning of or make negative assumptions about behaviors displayed during mediation (he’s stubborn, checked-out, difficult, etc.). Instead, take the time to explore what might be going on for someone and what their needs are. Note that while it is important to be aware of the signs of trauma, and to understand how to best manage them in a mediation context, it is not our role as mediators to engage in therapy with our clients — this includes even those who have a mental health background.
Principle 2: Promoting Safety
Traumatized people often have experienced chaos and unpredictability. They have difficulty trusting others and may feel that something bad is going to happen to them.
What we can do as mediators:
Take the time to clearly explain the mediation process and what the client can expect at each stage.
Make sure that interactions with clients are consistent and that clear expectations and boundaries are set.
Let clients know where exits, refreshments and restrooms are and that it’s OK to take breaks whenever they need one.
Principle 3: Voice and Choice
Trauma often involves a loss of control or agency and feelings of helplessness. People may believe they are powerless or may constantly challenge limits and authority.
What we can do as mediators:
Create opportunities whenever possible for clients to provide feedback and have input into the process (discussion agenda, ground rules, location, timing, etc.).
Provide adequate space and time for clients to contribute and to share their perspectives and stories at their own pace.
Remind them that the process is voluntary and that they do not have to stay or agree to anything they aren’t comfortable with.
Principle 4: Cultural Competence and Promotion of Equity
People from different cultures and backgrounds have different ways of dealing with trauma. Healing and resolution can be rooted in cultural identity.
What we can do as mediators:
Take the time to educate ourselves about the cultural backgrounds of those we serve.
Be aware of our own assumptions and biases.
Demonstrate cultural humility.
Principle 5: Culture of Self-Care
Working with traumatized clients can in some instances cause secondary or vicarious trauma. It can remind us of our own trauma and limit our effectiveness as mediators.
What we can do as mediators:
Engage in reflective practice — while protecting confidentiality, talk with family, friends and colleagues about our experiences, feelings and the impacts they have had on us.
Seek out peer support whenever possible.
Practice mindfulness (checking in with our own feelings, deep breathing, taking breaks).
Create a “self-care plan” and stick to it.
These are just the “TIPPS of the iceberg” if you will — there are a lot of great resources out there for mediators who want to learn more about this topic. I’ve listed a couple of resources below.
My hope for our field is that we will make the time to talk to each other about the “tough” cases and share ideas and resources for better serving our clients.
Additional Resources:
Mo Yee Lee, Amy Zaharlick, & Deborah Akers. Mediation and Treatment of Female Trauma Survivors of Interpersonal Abuses: Utilizing Clients’ Strengths (2009)
Mediators Beyond Borders, Trauma-Informed Conflict Engagement
(Previously published in the Fall 2022 Newsletter)